Wandering Monsters: A Rock Band What If Story
by beeayy
Summary: Mitchell, Annie and George buy "Rock Band". Will they be able to impress Nina and fit into human society? In three parts.
1. Chapter 1

Being Human

_What if Mitchell in Season 1 was trying so hard to fit in to human society that he got carried away and ended up accidentally inviting Nina (who doesn't know about vampires and werewolves yet) over to play Rock Band? This is what could have happened…_

Mitchell had been a vampire for so long, that he forgot whether he liked other people out of a genuine interest and empathy in others or out of insatiable vampiric blood lust. Whatever the reason, Mitchell liked people. It wasn't difficult, for instance, to show interest in the lives of people he only just met—he didn't even have to fake it. He did more than remember names with faces, he could remember favorite books, off-hand gripes, lifelong dreams. Mitchell knew he was the kind of individual that absolutely fell to brooding, melancholy pieces when he was alone for any long period of time.

Well, even if it was an evolved trait that simply came from being a vampire, it could get him into trouble. Like when he tried to impress people. He absolutely loved trying to impress people. The problem was, of course, when he got carried away. Or when he forgot that he was only pretending to be human.

Take Nina, for instance. Mitchell could see why George liked her, and at the moment he was spending his lunch break trying to impress her. Originally he was trying to invite her over so that George could have a chance to develop their relationship a little more. But Nina was the sort of person you really wanted to impress even without realizing, and before long Mitchell was recounting the days when he used to play drums with Pete Best at a Liverpool café….Oh, yeah, this was going to end well.

"I don't mind telling you I'm pretty good at the drums," Mitchell said, trying to get Nina to even just raise one eyebrow at his glamorous past. She just took another drink of her coffee.

"Well, you don't look like a Band geek," she said.

"Oh, I loved it-there was this epic drum solo at- -"

"I've only recently started playing," Nina continued, perhaps hoping to keep him from ranting again, "But I've just played Metallica. Fade to Black and that kind of thing."

Mitchell's mouth dropped open. "You've played with Metallica?"

"Well, yeah, it's the only set my friend's got," Nina said, and, in response to Mitchell's blank stare, added, "That is what we're talking about, right? Rock Band? That game you play on X-Box?"

"Oh- - er- -" Mitchell said, trying hard to hide his embarrassment at misunderstanding her meaning and trying to still appear cool, "Yeah, right. Rock Band."

"Well, if you're so epically good at it, maybe we can play a bit when I come over."

"Oh, I don't think- -"

"What, is George really that bad?"

"...No, that's not it- -"

"Then you're not as good as you say you are."

"Alright, fine," Mitchell said, his dander getting up, "You come over and I'll show you what a rock band's all about, yeah?"

"Perfect! We'll see if your bite's worse than your bark."

"That's George."

"What?"

"Never mind."


	2. Chapter 2

Being Human

_What if Mitchell in Season 1 was trying so hard to fit in to human society that he got carried away and ended up accidentally inviting Nina (who doesn't know about vampires and werewolves yet) over to play Rock Band? This is what could have happened…_

Mitchell wasn't the only one who liked to impress people. Annie, for all her faults, had died trying to impress Owen, and she didn't feel much different now. She liked to hear people's compliments, and often went out of her way to help out a friend in need.

But watching Mitchell push himself through the door with a precarious load of packages and bags in his arms made her think that she might be asked to do something a bit beyond the usual tea-making.

Speaking of tea…

"Did you just spend all our tea money on an X-Box?" she asked as Mitchell carefully collapsed onto the sofa with boxes cascading down around him.

"Surprise!" he said, grinning hopefully as she and George examined the bags' contents. "I thought that—you know, we needed something fun to do in the evenings, so I bought us Rock Band."

"Rock Band? That's that game that kiddies play in high school!" George said. He picked up a box at random. "You know, people should play real musical instruments rather than rely on a computer to—Ooh! They have Freezpop!..."

"I'll get it set up," Mitchell said, and Annie made some tea while Mitchell disappeared into a sea of packaging, wires and instruction manuals. When she came back he had a manual in one hand and a game controller in the other.

"OK, if shopping is your new therapy for giving up blood, that's fine," she said, gathering up the now empty boxes, "But do you think you could have started with something a little cheaper?"

Mitchell feigned nonchalance. "No."

"Come on, Mitchell, what's this all about? Who are you trying to impress now? And please don't tell me you invited that crazy man from the chippy over to play…"

"Of course not. I was just talking to Nina today, as a matter of fact, and—"

"Oh my God, what did you say to her?" George bursted out.

"Nothing, nothing! W-well, that is," Mitchell stammered, "We were just talking about Rock Band, and I invited her over to play. I…might have said that we were really good at it."

George sighed and sank into the sofa. "Oh, yes! This is just great! You do know Rock Band is one of the most popular games around, right? When she sees I can't play, she'll think I'm a freak!"

"That's why we need to practice." He put the instruction manual down with an air of stoic purpose. "Grab the drumsticks."

"Do I get to play?" Annie asked cautiously. The guitar that Mitchell picked up looked very inviting. And it might be fun to have another girl around the house for once.

"Of course!" Mitchell said. "There's a microphone with your name on it."

Annie pouted, but she didn't complain, and picked up the microphone as Mitchell scrolled through the song list.

"I used to play drums in band when I was a kid," George said, appearing to be warming up to the idea. He twirled the drumsticks in his hands, and set one flying accidentally into the kitchen.

"First we have to give ourselves a band name," Mitchell said.

"How about, Annie and the Annets?"

"How about George and the Georgettes?" George called from the kitchen.

"I don't think we should put our names in it," Mitchell said. "How about 'the Wandering Monsters'? It's funny on two levels!"

George and Annie stared. Mitchell gulped.

"You know, Dungeons and Dragons?" He blushed. "I don't just know that because I'm old—people still play it!"

"It's fine, it's fine," Annie said. "Wandering Monsters. *I* like it."

"Make sure to leave a spot for Nina," George said.

"People can come in later, don't worry," Mitchell said. "Now, what song do we want to do first? Beatles? Flyleaf…Oh! Sabotage, let's try that one!"

"I've never heard that song before," Annie said.

"Sure you have, its on basically every movie trailer in the last six months."

"Well, let's try it, anyway," George said, who had retrieved his drumstick and sat down behind the set. "But um, what do the colors mean?"

"Er—I'm sure it will all make sense once we start playing," Mitchell said, sounding a bit uncertain himself, but he started the song anyway.

"Wait—you put it on the high difficulty setting-!"

"Bollocks, that's fast—what do those lights mean?"

"Hold on, what key is this in-?"

"Am I meant to be playing? Do you hear me playing?"

"This doesn't make any noise!"

"Wait, wait, pause it—"

But no one needed to. The screen told them quite plainly that they had failed out in under thirty seconds. The three of them sat back.

"What the hell does this thing do?" Mitchell said, poking the whammy bar cautiously.

"Is this thing on?" Annie asked, tapping the microphone.

George took it from her, and spoke into it. "Seems to be working alright for me. Maybe you need to speak louder?"

Mitchell took it from George. "Hello? Hello? Maybe it can't hear the undead."

"Oh, charming," Annie said. "I suppose I'll just hide up in my room like I do whenever you two have company over…."

"No, no, Annie, we need you!" George said. "Come on. Why don't you try one of the instruments?"

"Can I try the guitar?" she asked. "At least I know what a whammy bar is."

Mitchell sheepishly handed over the guitar. "But I can't sing—that thing won't hear me, either."

"But you haven't played drums in decades!" George said.

"It's all muscle memory. Come on, shift yourself and howl for us."

"Fine," George said. "Which one do we try next?"

"Well, you could probably do 'Under Pressure,' or 'Still Loving You'."

Annie pointed at the screen enthusiastically. "Ooh! Ooh! That one! 'I Believe In a Thing Called Love'. You could sing that one! It's by the Darkness!"

"What's with all the power ballads?" George whined.

"Well, between you and Mitchell, you have the highest voice."

"I do not!" George whimpered, completely ignoring the fact that his voice went extremely high at the end of the exclamation. Annie sighed.

"Come on, what's the highest note you can sing?"

"Ah?" George offered.

"Come off it, you can go higher than that!"

"I ca—N'T!" the last syllable came out as a shriek as Mitchell poked him in the ribs from behind. "That's—that's not fair-!"

"'I Believe in a Thing Called Love' it is," Mitchell said, entering it into the system. "Alright, everyone, on your toes. We'll get this song right if it kills us…again."


	3. Chapter 3

George, like every awkward, shy guy out there, only tried to impress people under certain circumstances. One of those circumstances is when your best friend just happens to invite your crush over to play a game you only just learned. All three of them, out of pride, or determination or just the need to impress, had stayed up til four in the morning last night playing the game, mastering every level so it looked like they had been playing it for years. They gave themselves about a minute in between each song to wipe the sweat away and give a few words of encouragement before they started again, putting every dream of being human into every note. It wasn't a game—it was a challenge, a desperate attempt to achieve normality. They were going to _excel_ at normality.

If he never heard Justin Hawkins' voice again, it would be too soon. He lifted his glasses and squeezed the bridge of his nose.

"Alright, that's the last of the margherita pizzas in the oven…get your feet off the coffee table!" he said, swatting at Mitchell's boots with an oven mitt until Mitchell moved. "We're going to eat there! Now, I've just finished cleaning up, so nobody touch anything."

"Oh, have you seen my phone?" Mitchell said, suddenly slapping his pockets. "I need to call the neighbors and remind them not to come over tonight."

"Here, use mine. Make it quick, though—Nina might call if she can't find the place."

"She's been here before, George," Annie said. "I think she can find it again."

"I can't use your phone," Mitchell said. He had stood up, started throwing pillows off the sofa faster than George could put them back.

"Why not?" George asked.

Mitchell sulked. "It's a touchscreen."

George rolled his eyes. "You're living with dead people, George, when are you going to get that into your head…."

The doorbell rang. George stiffened in more places than one. "She's here! She's here!"

"I'll let her in, shall I?" Annie offered.

"We still don't know if she'll see you," Mitchell said. "I'll let her in."

George straightened the pillows and arranged the table decorations with trembling hands. Above all, he wanted to give Nina the appearance of a perfectly trained human. There was no beast in *this* bloke, no sir! He cooked dinner and cleaned house and would even lick your feet if you asked him—

–*Rubbed* your feet, he meant rubbed….Oh, God….

He turned around swiftly as Nina entered the room. All five-foot-two-inches of her looked gorgeous as always. She was glancing around the house, looking impressed already. "Hi, George," she said.

"Hallo!" he said, and stood there, unsure of what to do.

She glanced away from him as Annie cautiously moved around the sofa. "Hi, I'm Nina," Nina said, extending a hand to Annie.

"Annie!" Annie said, obviously too pleased that Nina could see her to offer the explanation that Nina was clearly waiting for.

Mitchell coughed. "Nina, this is…"

"—that's Mitchell's girlfriend," George said, thinking that to be a very good idea, because he didn't want to give Nina the wrong idea. "She lives here. Just like us!"

"Oh," Nina said. Annie and Mitchell both glared at him.

The timer in the kitchen rang.

"Well, if you'll just step this way, dinner will be served," George said, trying to ignore their deathly glares as he lead Nina into the kitchen. "Tonights menu is a cabernet sauvignon, followed by margherita pizza with basil and olive oil, french bread with garlic sauce and a toffee pudding for dessert…."

George was good at playing host despite his nervousness, and between the four of them the night started off quite well. Mitchell and Annie too looked like they would like to distract Nina from Rock Band altogether, and just spend the evening talking and drinking like normal people.

But when Nina ate her last bite of toffee pudding, while George and Mitchell were too busy laughing at a joke that Annie told, she brought it up. "So, Mitchell, shall we see how good you really are at this Rock Band business?"

"Oh—right! I almost forgot," Mitchell said, forcing a laugh. George exchanged a glance with both Mitchell and Annie, as if to say, _Well, time to show the world what you're made of_. This was their chance to prove themselves as real humans, and that was no joke to any of them. They set their jaws, and moved set up the telly with determination in their eyes.

"Wow, you have everything," Nina said, staring at the song list.

"Is random alright?" George asked as he got the controllers out, "Or did you have something in mind?"

"Oh—whatever. Like I said, anything's good after playing 'Enter Sandman' three times in one night."

George carefully did not mention that they had played 'Enter Sandman' thirty times last night. He was surprised he still had his voice, but the screaming associated with being a werewolf probably meant his throat was used to it.

Nina made her character and gallantly agreed to play bass. She was oblivious to the solemn manner in which Annie slipped the guitar strap over her shoulder, and not noticing how Mitchell was silently practicing a drum rhythm with his feet. George cleared his throat carefully. He hated singing, and felt especially on the spot because Nina was sitting right next to him. He wanted so badly to impress her. They all wanted to impress her. They all had to impress her, to make the dream of being human a reality.

"Ooh, I love this one!" Nina said, as George realized that "I Believe in a Thing Called Love" appeared on the screen. George grinned, and saw that Mitchell and Annie were grinning too. He took a calming breath, as Annie led them in with the aggressive first chords. In a moment Mitchell joined in fiercely, and before long George was belting it out with all his nervous might.

"_Touching you-hoooo! Touching me-eeee! Touching you, God, you're touching meeeee!…AHHHHHHHH! I believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rhythm of my heart! There's a chance we can make it now, we'll be rocking til the sun goes down, I BELIEVE IN A THING CALLED LOVE! HA-AA AA AH AAH!_"

Mitchell still had the magic touch that got him noticed by Pete Best, and Annie's inner strength shone through every slam on the whammy bar. George felt the hairs rising on the back of his neck as he sang the highest notes, in perfect control of every note he hit. George felt exposed and terrified, but for a moment he felt in control of the wolf, of everything. He was on top of the world, and as the song ended his eyes slipped shut.

He opened them when no one filled the impending silence. Mitchell and Annie were looking at Nina with apprehension. George, still grinning like a fool, wondered why until he saw Nina's face as she stared at the screen, which indicated that guitar and drums, on the highest difficulty setting, had rated above 90%-an extremely rare feat for such a difficult song. Vocals, to his extreme surprise, had rated at 100%. He was sure not even the real singer could rate that high!

Bass rated 68%.

Nina kept on staring, mouth open. Well, they certainly impressed her. In fact, George thought, they might have even overdone it a bit. A lot. Too much.

Damn.

Nina cleared her throat, and Mitchell, Annie, and George stopped breathing. But she only pointed at the screen and said, "The next song's starting. Does anyone want to switch parts? I'm not very good at bass."

George, Mitchell, and Annie looked at each other, and said to Nina, in unison:

"Why don't you try singing?"


End file.
